Coldplay – Everyday Life

Coldplay’s latest album ‘Everyday Life’ sees the band make the leap from bland, chart-filling toss to pretentious, patronising toss. A departure from the flashiness we’ve come to expect from them this decade, ‘Everyday Life’ is filled with the kind of grey misery which makes 53 minutes drag like hell.

Coldplay’s reputation precedes them, and that’s what makes it difficult to take their music seriously these days. Despite numerous bad lyrics across the 16 tracks, I’m sure other artists could make some of these songs sound deep, meaningful and even beautiful. But these songs are in the hands of Chris Martin, and so they turn to shit.

Most of the dirge is one long acoustic-backed drone, barring the obligatory radio-friendly number ‘Orphans’, one or two licks on the electric from that bloke with the hat, and, predictably, Martin getting his grubby fingers on some brilliant, vibrant styles of music and sucking the soul out of them.

The most infuriating comes early on with the track ‘BrokEn’, in which the joy of gospel music is tainted by Martin’s meek little soulless voice. Cringeworthy, badly thought out choices litter the album, with the annoying vocal effect on ‘Cry Cry Cry’ and the frankly sickening attempt at singing in French on ‘Arabesque’ just two examples.

‘Guns’ is another one to pick out and marvel at, as it’s got to be one of the most ham-fisted attempts at social commentary a multi-millionaire has ever made. The same can be said for ‘Eko’. If I wanted someone to tell me about Africa through song, Chris Martin would be at the very bottom of my list. The lack of self-awareness is incredible.

The fact that Coldplay think they can tell us about ‘Everyday Life’, particularly the life of people in countries they don’t live in, tells you all you need to know. They were brave to try something different and hop off the gravy train with this album, but all it’s done is confirmed Martin’s place in the pantheon of filthy rich would-be messiahs. Bono and Sting welcome him with open arms.